Husbands, Let Your Fountain Be Blessed

Last week, I wrote on how husbands are to not only not commit adultery, but seek to constantly be filling their cisterns.  And of course, at the same time enjoy the spring of blessings that come from their wives.  If that sounds a bit strange, you might want to read this before proceeding to my blog today.

This week, I want us to focus more on your eyes, husbands.  Job is famous for saying,
I have made a covenant with my eyes;
    how then could I gaze at a virgin,” (Job 31:1, ESV)?

Solomon doesn’t go on the defensive here like Job did (I must be careful not to look at a young woman in lust), but on the offensive (I will look at my wife with love).  Read carefully the words that Solomon wrote:

Let your fountain be blessed,
    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
    be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
    and embrace the bosom of an adulteress, (Proverbs 5:18-20, ESV)?

Solomon was not only King of Israel, he was the King of Euphemisms.  The sexual pleasure that a man receives should come only from his wife and from none other.  But again, like the last couple of verses that I dealt with last week, this is more than just about adultery (though it is about that).  The emphasis in these verses is the idea of growing old together.  The husband is to rejoice in the wife of his youth.  He doesn’t say, rejoice in your youthful wife, but rejoice in the wife of your youth–the wife you married when you were young. The woman that you married when you were in your twenties no longer looks like she did back then. And since we’re at it, neither do you.

Notice here how Solomon described the wife of your youth.  She is “a lovely deer, a graceful doe.”  In the Song of Solomon, he described his wedding night and said this about his wife:

Your two breasts are like two fawns,
    twins of a gazelle,
    that graze among the lilies, (SoS 4:5, ESV).

This young lady that he has married is described as having breasts like fawns: i.e. perky and firm.  The instructions he gives to his son is to look at his wife, a lovely deer, a graceful doe.  In other words, she’s a woman, no longer a fawn, yet she is lovely and graceful.  She is graceful not because of her youth, but is graceful because of all she has been through.  She may have crows feet (or even wrinkles).  She may not have the body like the twenty-something at the gym with washboard abs and such, but she has grace.  She has a loveliness about her that goes beyond complexion and firmness.

Look again at what Solomon wrote in verse 19:

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
    be intoxicated always in her love.

The breasts of the woman you married in your twenties may not look the same as they do when you’re 40.  That makes no difference.  Let them fill you at all times with delight.  That woman has birthed your children, nursed them, stayed up with them through the night when they were sick.  Not to mention, she has had to put up with you.  Ravish in them.  Let them be your treasure.

And be intoxicated in her love.  That word intoxicated means to be carried away.  Intimacy is more than sex.  It is being in union with someone.  In this case, it is sexual union, but that is not always the case.  If you are looking for greater sexual intimacy, then start with growing non-sexual intimacy.  Start by seeking a union outside of sex.  The way to be intoxicated in your wife’s love does not start in the bedroom.  It starts in the car, the grocery store, the dinner table, the laundry room, etc.

Hence Solomon asked the question:

Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
    and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

There is no reason to be intoxicated with an adulteress.  She has not and cannot give you what your wife has given to you.  She has not been with you since you were a youth.  She has not seen what your wife has seen.  She has not cared for you in sickness and health.  She has not borne your children or seen you at your worst.  Notice that Solomon did not use the word “love” when speaking of the adulteress, but only with the wife. So be carried away with your wife’s love, and rejoice in her breasts .  The adulteress has nothing on the loveliness and grace that is your wife.

By the way, this goes for the adulteresses on your computer.  Do not be intoxicated by those porn stars.  They have done nothing for you.  They are just as much a forbidden woman as those in the brothels.  Don’t get carried away (intoxicated) by pornography; you will never find satisfaction, never find love, and never understand what true intoxication of love is if you do.

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